The Road

“The road to hell is paved with ineffective antidepressants.”- Scarpoe

Excerpt from the memoir Rain. –

I ended up spending years trying several antidepressant combinations, without finding the magic blend that would release me from my mental cage. None of the medications were effective over the long term, and some had terrible side effects that only made things worse. Was my attitude part of the problem? “Hell yes. You have to meet the medication half-way.”  

Be that as it may, an example of a negative side effect courtesy of Abilify – It caused me to gain weight, about 30 lbs. Weight gain is depressing enough but having it happen to an already depressed person who used to be a gym rat, is just not helpful.

Another pleasant example of an undesirable side effect was the slaying of my sex drive, rendering it non-existent. Those drugs can kill a libido faster than soaking the genitalia in a bucket of ice water. “Canceling one of my biggest reasons for living, like a goddamn stamp, is just piling on. This pharma dance is medieval.” 

Here is a list of all the pharmaceuticals I tried. 

      Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) 



Serotonin–norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs) 


Serotonin modulators and stimulators (SMS) 

Norepinephrine–dopamine reuptake inhibitors (NDRIs) 

Atypical antipsychotics 






Another warning, these medications all take several weeks before a therapeutic dose is reached. Trying to simultaneously deal with mental illness while doing this yoyo pharma dance can be very dangerous. Have a nice time. 

2 thoughts on “The Road

  1. I tried numerous antidepressant drugs; most gave me diarrhoea :/ Finally settled on one that seemed to work (and that didn’t give me the shits), called ‘Lofepramine’. I took it for years. It was only when my teeth started falling out that I remembered my GP telling me this might be a side-effect. My advice: steer clear of it, depression is bad, but having no teeth… sucks.

    Liked by 1 person

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