An emotional pendulum swings throughout the day
Serious violence is well on the way
If you think you know, I say you do not
One must read between the lines for my thought
Struggling now with my consciousness and will
Few will understand the blood that will spill
Let’s talk anger, mine. Is it from the Depression/PTSD, other people’s stupidity, or was I born with a burning rage? Let’s see, I choose all three (nature/nurture). Most of the time I keep the anger to myself, other times a physical release appeals.
Dr. Jeremy Crosby reminds me that anger from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) manifests itself with the sufferer turning the anger inward (self abuse). Lashing out in anger from alternative forms can be equally as bad. Both examples are poor, unhealthy ways of dealing with anger regardless of the cause.
I grew up with a dad who often became angry with my hateful attitude toward life and would constantly tell/threaten me with, “You’d better knock that chip off your shoulder”. On the contrary, there are professional athletes whom want to play with a chip on their should. An oversimplification of the proverbial “athletic” chip on the shoulder is a grudge or perceived grievance that motivates the athlete to perform better against an opponent. (“Play angry” hat tip to Antoine Carr and Xavier McDaniel)
So why is my chip considered bad and an athletes’ chip good? Is anger ever justified? Please let me utilize another personal anecdote concerning angry to allow you to ponder this further.
Not terribly long ago I was doing a live morning radio show with a co-host when I heard construction noise coming from the suite next door. (Think strip mall type building) The noise was highly distracting and could be heard over the air. (Wait for it)
The construction company owner and I had discussed, just the day before that his guys were to not make any noise until after the morning show had ended at – 9:00am CST. (Wait for it)
At 7:39am CST – after two more live breaks were interrupted with construction noise, I fucking shorted out. I ran next door in an insane tirade prepared to start throwing folks around. The first workers that I confronted professed to not knowing anything about a noise agreement.
Without hesitation I continued the profanity-laden outburst, at the top of my lungs of course, into the parking lot hunting the owner who had reneged on our agreement. After attracting a small crowd, I found the owner, yelled my concerns then went back to finish the radio show. (Note: no physical violence took place. Why? Too many witnesses, just joking, kind of)
Was my reaction to the noise justified? Before you answer there’s more. Prior to “shorting out” the same workers, that made the noise, had left construction debris in the parking lot. Resulting in three flat tires all on my car. Now I ask you, was my reaction justified?
My answer is, yes this angry outburst was justified, but only in my mind. And that doesn’t make it right. I wasn’t equipped with the knowledge and/or wisdom to be bigger than the situation. My problem was letting emotions override my intellect. Therapy helps with this.
The Takeaway: If you carry around anger, grudges, or even negative thoughts you will make yourself ill (physically). In addition physical violence (if you elect to participate) will only land you in jail or worse. Be bigger than the situation, when in doubt, have faith and trust in a higher power. You will never regret taking the high road. If you can find a healthy release for that angry energy, like punching a bag (boxing) that is a good thing.
Riddle me this if you will, Is anger and hate the same thing?
Thanks for reading and following. I hope I am helping and will take any suggestions to make the blog better (more helpful).
Thank you Scarpions.
(The poem is from my dark days. There were many)