Don’t Play Angry

An emotional pendulum swings throughout the day

Serious violence is well on the way

If you think you know, I say you do not

One must read between the lines for my thought

Struggling now with my consciousness and will

Few will understand the blood that will spill

 

Let’s talk anger, mine. Is it from the Depression/PTSD, other people’s stupidity, or was I born with a burning rage?   Let’s see, I choose all three (nature/nurture). Most of the time I keep the anger to myself, other times a physical release appeals.

Dr. Jeremy Crosby reminds me that anger from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) manifests itself with the sufferer turning the anger inward (self abuse). Lashing out in anger from alternative forms can be equally as bad. Both examples are poor, unhealthy ways of dealing with anger regardless of the cause.

I grew up with a dad who often became angry with my hateful attitude toward life and would constantly tell/threaten me with, “You’d better knock that chip off your shoulder”. On the contrary, there are professional athletes whom want to play with a chip on their should. An oversimplification of the proverbial “athletic” chip on the shoulder is a grudge or perceived grievance that motivates the athlete to perform better against an opponent. (“Play angry” hat tip to Antoine Carr and Xavier McDaniel)

So why is my chip considered bad and an athletes’ chip good? Is anger ever justified? Please let me utilize another personal anecdote concerning angry to allow you to ponder this further.

Not terribly long ago I was doing a live morning radio show with a co-host when I heard construction noise coming from the suite next door. (Think strip mall type building) The noise was highly distracting and could be heard over the air. (Wait for it)

The construction company owner and I had discussed, just the day before that his guys were to not make any noise until after the morning show had ended at – 9:00am CST. (Wait for it)

At 7:39am CST – after two more live breaks were interrupted with construction noise, I fucking shorted out. I ran next door in an insane tirade prepared to start throwing folks around. The first workers that I confronted professed to not knowing anything about a noise agreement.

Without hesitation I continued the profanity-laden outburst, at the top of my lungs of course, into the parking lot hunting the owner who had reneged on our agreement. After attracting a small crowd, I found the owner, yelled my concerns then went back to finish the radio show. (Note: no physical violence took place. Why? Too many witnesses, just joking, kind of)

Was my reaction to the noise justified? Before you answer there’s more. Prior to “shorting out” the same workers, that made the noise, had left construction debris in the parking lot. Resulting in three flat tires all on my car. Now I ask you, was my reaction justified?

My answer is, yes this angry outburst was justified, but only in my mind. And that doesn’t make it right. I wasn’t equipped with the knowledge and/or wisdom to be bigger than the situation. My problem was letting emotions override my intellect. Therapy helps with this.

The Takeaway: If you carry around anger, grudges, or even negative thoughts you will make yourself ill (physically). In addition physical violence (if you elect to participate) will only land you in jail or worse. Be bigger than the situation, when in doubt, have faith and trust in a higher power. You will never regret taking the high road. If you can find a healthy release for that angry energy, like punching a bag (boxing) that is a good thing.

Riddle me this if you will, Is anger and hate the same thing?

Thanks for reading and following. I hope I am helping and will take any suggestions to make the blog better (more helpful).

Thank you Scarpions.

(The poem is from my dark days. There were many)

6 thoughts on “Don’t Play Angry

  1. Anger is a tough one and I think it contributed to my physical symptoms. I always suppressed anger never quite knowing how to communicate the feeling and too scared of the consequences. The result was a festering mess. I hope therapy continues to help you.
    BTW, I believe anger is different than hate. Anger comes from fear and hurt, hate is a perception not influenced by fact or change.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Don’t think so. Anger & Hate r different things.
    Also u r kinda “scary” persona lol I mean I’d never do that…to scream at ppl I don’t know.
    And u can deal with a situation by scream & anger …

    Like

    1. I should clarify. I did know the owner of the construction company (remember flat tires) and he can’t find his ass with both hands. Also that was my first angry outburst of that kind and so far has been the last. There were a ton of extenuating circumstances that I didn’t mention in the interest of keeping the post short. I can be a scary persona but try not to be. Thank you for the response about anger and hate. Why do you think they are different? I value your opinion.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. they are different because of intensity and duration… Anger is trigged by something usually. It comes and goes. Hate lasts during long time and is more pervasive. It can destroy all other feelings, can overwhelm us..

        Liked by 1 person

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